Updated: Aug 27, 2018
They say you reinvent yourself every 7 years. Now the exact timing may be off a few years for me, but if I think back to the person I was 7 years ago I’m not sure I would recognize that girl. I would’ve been a super shy 25 year old, just getting my career going, sporting my trendy “BOB” haircut, not really knowing what the heck I was doing.
Now as a 32-year-old woman I can confidently say I know who I am and what I want out of life – and I’m not really willing to settle for anything less. At the current moment in my life this applies to both my professional life and my dating life.
Last year was a huge year of change for me. I probably changed more over the last year than in the past seven combined! I started living a healthy lifestyle, lost 40 pounds, gained some confidence, got some highlights, did some online dating and even started wearing lipstick. Things were going GREAT! Until October 2, 2017 at 9:07am when I lost my job after nine years at the company. How could this happen? This wasn't part of my plan. I was moving on up the corporate ladder... until it all came crashing down.
At the time I got laid off I was interviewing for two other jobs so in my mind I would of course get one of those positions and maybe use my severance package to buy some extra nice Christmas presents for my family. BOY was I wrong. I didn’t get either of those positions and ten months of countless interviews later I still haven’t found “the” job. How is this possible? I’m highly qualified, have an MBA, don’t have a problem selling myself in an interview, so why am I still unemployed?
During the last ten months I’ve been truly intentional about trusting the Lord at every turn. There have been multiple instances where I’ve been told I had "the job" and it was taken away, the interview went great, but I still didn’t get the position – WHY does this keep happening? Is the “perfect” job really out there or am I doing something wrong? Am I supposed to be pursuing another avenue in another city? These are the questions I seek answers for on a daily basis. On paper I should have received many of the jobs I’ve interviewed for… but that is clearly not God's plan.
My goal through this period of change has been to fully rely on and trust God and not be paralyzed by fear and worry, which believe me are very easy to get pulled into. I drive past my company's billboard on a daily basis, get hit in the face with Facebook memories of my former coworkers. I am reminded every single day that I'm unemployed. I would even go as far to say that I lost my identity when I lost my job – a job that I was proud of and really good at. What would define me now? Introducing yourself by saying, "Hi, I'm Emily, I'm unemployed" really doesn't have a nice ring to it. Now of course I can say I'm a blogger :) I joke and tell people I’m just out here “living my best life” but I actually cringing on the inside when people ask me what I'm doing now. I am so ready for the day that I can get back into the corporate setting and use the skills that I have grown and learned over the past nine years of my career.
Ten months post layoff I can wholeheartedly say that losing my job was for the best. It was time to move on from the company and coworkers who were like a family to me. I hold no bitterness in my heart and know it was God's plan. While I wait for the new opportunity to come, I will continue to apply for jobs left and right, not take this period of having some extra free time for granted, spend extra time with those who matter most to me, and continually trust God to show me how to proceed. I am confident that the job God has for me is out there and just have to trust His perfect timing. I know what I want and am going to work my butt off to get it.
I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.